What are 7 Qualities of Good Friends?

40-Forwarders many of you will be able to relate to today’s post – good friends. We have a saying in Jamaica, “Good fren beta dan pakkit money.” (Translated: Good friends are more valuable than the money in your pocket.) My dears, I have found myself in a season where I have proven this over and over.

Before we get started on the 7 Qualities, let me lay a foundation.

True story …

I never intended on joining Facebook, however I started a course that required us to join a Facebook group (OMG). Truth is, if I realised this before putting skin in the game (paid money out of pocket), I may not have signed up. Anyhow, this is now water under the bridge.

So in 2020, I reluctantly signed up to Facebook. Then I got to the section where they asked me to add my “friends” and then proceeds to pull up persons in my contact list. I was taken aback because “friend” for me is not a frivolous word, it means something!

You should have been a fly on the wall and heard me quarreling with the Facebook App, “The vast majority of the people in my contact list are not my ‘friends’, I just know (or know of) them in passing!”

To me, this gave the wrong impression and meaning of “friend”. Imagine with me my fellow 40-Forwarders what this false sense of “friendship” could do to a young impressionable mind and heart! Let us work to get this mindset reversed.

Overview of Friendship

What a friend is not, is a click of an icon or call to action button. A friend is someone you have a certain bond with. Sometimes you can explain this bond, but in some instances you can’t.

A friend doesn’t always agree with you, but they will defer to you – agree to disagree, and get on with the business of friendship.

A good friend is a high-value item and therefore it must be maintained and protected. Be sure to keep a good check on it.

Understand this as well, not all friendships last forever. Mums have a way of saying to me, “Whatever happened to so and so?” Some friendships are but for a season. For a season, you were inseparable. Then over time, you move away or drift away from each other. That close bond you once had is no longer there. And, it is AOK! Life happens and seasons change.

Know this as well, good friends are good for our health – physical, emotional, psychological and social wellbeing.

Now that we have laid the groundwork, let’s get into those 7 Qualities of Good Friends …

1. Good friends show themselves friendly

Don’t expect what you cannot give. Proverbs 18:24 (a) tells us, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.” It cannot be any clearer. You and I can’t say we want good friends and we are not good friends ourselves.  Do you find others wanting to befriend you or are they shying away and side-stepping you?

2. They are present

Notice I did not say that good friends are always available. Spoiler alert, your friends do have lives outside of you.

Do you have friends that sometimes there are long stretches that you haven’t spoken, but when you get on the phone, it is as though you picked up on a conversation from yesterday? And then you have a friend who is “always calling back”? One day you will hear more about my “Ah soon call yuh back” friend, Little Foot.

So, Rona V, how can they not be available but present? Glad you asked. Easy, when they are available, they are there, you have their full attention. What does this look like?

• Do you need a listening ear or good counsel? Their attention is all yours.
• They will rearrange their schedule – move things up, out or around – to accommodate something that is important to you.
• They are there to hold your hand.
• Plane, train or automobile, they’ll be there.

3. There for you in every season

Good friends are like all-season tires and AWD. It doesn’t matter what season you find yourself – good, bad or indifferent – you can count on your good friends to be there. In tamarind season or a season of abundance, they are there.

They are your ally. You can count on them to rally around you, especially in those really rough seasons. A good friend sees you are in need of help and simply jumps in and helps without you asking.

My dears, we know we can count on them to pray for us and with us in any season. Oh, what a good friend!

4. Good friends speak the truth

They are the first to call you out! “Rona V, you are behaving like a fool and your attitude is nasty. Fix it!” Don’t leave me out here hanging. Am I the only one who had to be spoken to? Have you had to talk truth to a friend?

Good friends don’t go behind your back and talk about your “less than acceptable behaviour” aka bad behaviour with others. Oh no! Because they love you, and should someone else call you out they might snatch them (after all, they got your back 😉 ), a good friend sets you straight in your face in private. Sometimes an intervention may be necessary. (Talk truth) That’s a good friend!

5. Cheers loud and cheers hard

This one I will demonstrate with a true story.

Part of school life in Jamaica is being placed in Houses (different names and different colours) and we have sporting and creative arts events that we compete in. At my school, there were 6 Houses, and when the bell is tolled on Sports Day activities, the House to which I was assigned always ended up in 5th or 6th position.

I loved, loved, loved my House! You know why? The one category we ALWAYS won is, “The House with the most vibes!” If you were an observer of the events, you would never believe we were occupying the 5th or 6th position. Our House was legendary (at least while I was there) for the House that cheered their team members on to the end!

We competed in every competition and we finished every event. One year we cheered so hard we broke a bench (no joke). If team members were swimming, we ran alongside the pool until they were done! If they were running, we ran alongside them to the finish line! When the cheerleading routine is not going very well, we cheered them through to the end! (As I recount this my dears, my eyes are welling up with tears.)

Good friends come alongside you in your endeavours and in life in general, and they cheer you on to the very end. They help you to take another step even if you don’t feel like it. They are there no matter what!

6. Allows you to be you

Another spoiler alert, if you have to “fake it”, try to be someone you are not, infront of these persons, they are not your friends. No pretense required around good friends.

Usually you have shared or similar interests and this may have been what drew you together as friends, so they know you in your element. And yup, they still like you. 😉

They may not like everything about you (some of your tendencies sometimes grate on their nerves), but they still love and appreciate you. They take you as you are. Simply be you!

7. Good friends are good company

If those you label as “friends” are always leading you into trouble and wrongdoing, they are NOT your friends. A good friend wants good for his/her friend.

In their company you find encouragement and support. They stretch you and you want to be your best and do your best around them – they bring out the best in you. Know what I mean?!

Another thing, whether peace and quiet or uproaring laughter, they deliver!

Good friends are not necessarily measured in quantity, they are measured in quality. (Selah)

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Your parring-P, bosom buddy, bununnus – there is nothing like a good friend. They are priceless!

How are you doing on the “good friend” scale? 40-Forwarders, I hope we realise that demonstrating good friendships is a good legacy to pass on to our youngins. Let us also be there to guide them as they form and cultivate their friendships.

Drop in the comments some of your “good friend” stories, or just give a shout-out to your good friend. Take it a step further and SHARE this post with your good friend.