Fatherhood is a great responsibility! It takes work and therefore fathers must be there. The few bad apples in the bunch, who choose not to be fully engaged in the raising of their children, are the ones who are dubbed “sperm donors” and “dead beat dads”. It’s more than procreation. They give good men (fathers) a bad name and place a stain on fatherhood.
Bull horn in hand and standing on my soap box, I shout it loud and I shout it clear
I wanted to hear from the proverbial horse’s mouth and so I sent out a questionnaire to a handful of fathers to get their feedback on “Being a Dad”. The dads surveyed have children ranging from 0 to 19+ years and they had 1 to 6 children. The experts will tell you, the best present a father could give to his child(ren) is being present (and involved). The questions therefore, were geared towards gauging how engaged they were in raising their children.
My finding and conclusion (long time I have not whipped out my quality speak) are, these men love being dads. See the evidence for yourself …
Fathers Provide
There is no going around this, a father provides. Fathers, your standard is our heavenly Father. Just as how He provides for His children’s needs (Matthew 6:25, 26, 31-33), you are expected to follow suit. So, food, clothing, shelter, education, healthcare, and so on, is on you. This is a great responsibility, so guess what, do what you must – legally and ethically – to earn that money. Please, please, please don’t get so caught up in the hustle that you forget to provide for your children’s spiritual and emotional wellbeing. Yup, this too is on you.
Responsible for Guidance & Training
Proverbs 22:6 (a) says, “Train up your child in the way he should go;” fathers a good chunk of this training falls in your lap. There is no better parenting guide than the bible. Use it (the bible) first of all to train yourself and then use it to train your children. Talk about a 2-for-1! 😉
No better way to train your children than to let them see you DOing what the Word of God says.
simplyronav.com
Perhaps you learnt something from your dad and grandad that informs (influences) how you train up your children. Good on you for passing on these good (life) nuggets to your children.
Your children will DO what you DO in and out of your presence. Additionally, they will make decisions based on what they see you DO – before they DO, they think, “Are my actions ‘daddy approved’?” They are DOing you dad so you know this is a great responsibility. (Pressure!)
Fathers, the training you provide cannot be provided by moms. I am sorry, I don’t support or endorse the popular saying, “The mother who fathered me.” Mothers, try as you can, this is simply not possible. Men and women are different – our roles are different, the way we see things differs, and we also address matters differently – your parenting style is simply different.
Both parenting styles (mother and father) are needed for GOOD child development. The parenting styles balance out each other which results in well-rounded children. Dads tend to employ the authoritative style of parenting – sensitivity and warmth coupled with discipline and structure. A father’s role is therefore irreplaceable when it comes to child development.
So to the table fathers bring (teach you):
- Risk-taking
- Using wider varieties of methods to deal with what life throws at us
- Importance of rules (limits), justice, fairness, and discipline
- Right from wrong
- Independence
- How to take on the world
- Strength
- Meaning of respect between sexes
Leaving Your Special Mark
Children love spending time with their dads and dads love spending time with their children. If this is missing there is usually “aching” (sadness and hurt) on both sides. If both parents are not together, this makes it oh so hard. You may not be there 24/7 but try not to slack off on this great responsibility. Dads, in these instances you have to be deliberate about creating your together times and moments.
In my research I kept coming across this saying and it just stuck with me, “Dads are a son’s first hero and a daughter’s first love.”
Dads, as your son’s hero, he sees (and learns):
- Courage
- Champion
- Honour
- Example
- Noble character/qualities
- Devotion
- Great strength
Through you dads, your daughters experience:
- Attention
- Affection
- Affirmation
- Gentleness
- Steadfast, unconditional love – true love
Because of this nuh man caan fool dem (dial a Jamaican to translate).
Responsible for Leaving a Legacy
When we think of “legacy” we usually think of money (inheritance), and yes this is so, but legacy is so much more. There are some intangibles – qualities and traits – on which no true value can be placed. These are the things, good good fathers seek to hand down.
- Reverence and fear of God
- Integrity
- Respect for self and others
- Honesty
- Being a positive influence
- Walking in purpose and calling
- Pursuing your dream
- Love
We have a saying in Jamaica, “Yuh a dead stamp ah yuh pa!” (Translated: You look just like your father.) This is really what every father’s role boils down to. Your child(ren) should resemble you in every way – spiritually, behaviourally, emotionally, mentally, and ralationally (physically is brawta 😉 ).
So, BIG UP to those dads who are carrying out their responsibilities! There are more of you than there are “sperm donors”! Continue to be good male role models for your children (and others too)!
Do you know how you know you are being a good role model? Your child(ren) want to be like you and they are following your steps. Big up yuh chess daddy! 🙂
Hold up, hold up, hold up … Take out your voovoozela (don’t think this is spelt correctly, but you know what I’m talking about), pot covers, and tambourines and mek nuff noise for all the single dads that are holding it down! They know they have a great responsibility and they are determined to deliver! They are determined to WIN!
The Challenge
40-Forwarders, you know Rona V will not let it end like that. To all our B.L.E.S.S. dads, you have a good thing going on, demonstrating great responsibility, so I want to issue you a challenge(s):
- Help other fathers that you see that are struggling in the fatherhood arena – help them to win.
- Get involved in mentoring programmes (of all ages) that you can help mould young lives like only a father can – be that father figure.
- Consider starting a group that supports (teaches) other soon-to-be and young fathers.
- Stand in the gap, in prayer, for fatherhood.
Children, mothers, aunties, grandmas, you KNOW you have (or had) a good good responsible father in your life, give him a shout out in the Comments!
A father is the main person in the house 🏠 he’s the one who provides
For his family show them right from wrong
Protect them from danger, etc.
Paulton, I can hear a FATHER speaking!
Kudos to my daddy who taught me to love the Word of God, to value people, to be resourceful and to live and serve with passion, excellence and integrity.
Tresha-Gay, we join you in honouring your dad!